"It's my birthday........why am I the only one here not in my birthday suit?"
~Me....while in the Champagne Room~
Birthdays..........they kind of suck as you get older. It isn't fun to have a birthday and have to go to work, or to do the same thing you do every other day of the year. However, in today's society, almost everyone does exactly that, and most people do not get any presents on their birthday or do not have any once in a lifetime experiences on their birthday. I believe there should be an extra holiday in every benefit package of every company, and it would be mandatory to take that holiday on your birthday.........even all the freaks who think working 80 hours a week to "get ahead" is a good thing. (by the way, it is those freaks who are the assholes destroying this country by failing to balance work and life. Work is not meant to be your life.....if it is, then you have no life. Kayaking, writing, equestrian, traveling, wood carving, bucket listing, painting, playing Cello, meditating, listening to great music, floating a rivah, napping in a hammock, etc.......these are the things people should live for. To the people who work 80 hours a week because they "have to" or because they "love their jobs" I have one thing to say.......you are all complete assholes and everyone you work with hates you, even if they have convinced you they don't. But they all go home to loving families and their life........you don't. You just keep working. Seriously, you people really piss me off......and if you are reading this questioning whether or not you are one of those people, well, you probably are) Anyway, excuse the rant. Back to the birthday story.
"God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well."
~Voltaire~
I was determined to spend my birthday doing something special..........kayaking, writing, and the strip club sounded like three activities that would fit that criteria. (even though I kayak everyday, it is still special......yet another thing to love about my life) I boated early in the day and enjoyed some low water soul surfing, and even hit a full lap and paddled Hollywood.......which I rarely do these days. It is too far of a walk. Once I finished my daily lap and received a Happy BDay from the Riverside crew (thanks guys), I retreated to the coffee shop to spend the afternoon writing. (I ended up accomplishing nothing. All I did was watch Vimeo kayaking videos and hanging with Lindy.......but it was my birthday, so fuck it!)
After an hour or so of wasting time Lindy walked in carrying a big, soft green pillow. It was my birthday present!!......................yes, my only birthday present for the entire day was given to me by a homeless man. I think that is awesome and gives me hope in humanity. The conversation we had about the pillow went like this........
Lindy - "Happy Birthday buddy."
Me - "Aww...thanks Lindy, but you didn't have to buy me a present. This is too much."
Lindy - "Don't sweat it man. I found it down the street by the dumpster."
Me - "ohhh............thanks." (Then I smelled it. It smelled fine)
Lindy - "Now buy me a cup of coffee so we can celebrate your birthday in style."
Yes, Lindy is awesome and I am honored to call him one of my friends. (By the way, I ended up using the pillow................don't judge me. It was comfortable.) The rest of the afternoon was spent hanging out with Lindy at the coffee shop and then taking a walk to Pipeline for a safety meeting.
"Around the outside of the room other beautiful women wearing little or nothing at all flitted between the infatuated, intoxicated men, sometimes luring them away for a private dance. The men would follow obediently, weighed down by lust and credit cards."
~R.D. Ronald - The Zombie Room~
Once the evening came it was time to start thinking about The Strip Club, which meant I needed to figure out how to shave and not smell like a homeless man any longer. (seriously......sometimes I smell really bad) I hit up one of the great friends I have and he said to have at it with the shower, shave, and clothes washing........that is the greatest thing a homeless man could ever hear sometimes, so to EVERYONE who has offered that up, along with dinner, thank you. I am truly indebted for life. (.....and please don't feel as though you are fishing for me. Your not. I was taught to fish on my own. But regardless, those things are all luxuries, not necessity. That is why I can fish for myself, but don't sometime.......get it.)
I met up with the one man that you should attend the strip club with if you do not go with "The Man".............I went with "The Dude". The Dude and I did not even get to the club until almost midnight, which technically meant it was no longer my birthday, but you need to remember rule #5 of the strip club.............stripper time and normal time do not add up. I had at least a five hour window to work with. The night was filled with the same funny as hell conversations with the ladies, the observation of some highly skillful gymnastics routines (one of which received a standing ovation), and some birthday boy fun. The night concluded with a stack of ones that I rained down on Carmen (future ex-wife #2), followed by a great talk with Carmen for a while about the social dynamics of the club, The Island Life, her life, tattoo's, and whitewater. The Dude made my birthday a birthday.........which is why he is and always will be The Dude........thanks bro. We all ended up paddling to The Island at sunrise, discussing safety aspects of the rivah while watching the sun come up (which was an awesome end to a birthday.....it reminded me of the ending to "Dazed and Confused"), and passing out until about 1:00 p.m. (remember, stripper time. It's cool.) Thanks to everyone who made my birthday special. It was one to remember, especially once you hear about Bristol (future post......and a good one).
"Invisible threads are the strongest ties."
~Friedrich Nietzche
On Sunday I met up with a friend that was in town for the weekend looking for some adventure. She and I live far away from each other but share a lot of common ground and have hung out in WNC before. It was good to spend the remainder of my birthday weekend with someone who got me. We went to the VMFA, had lunch at The Urban Farmhouse, went whitewater rafting and visited The Island in the late afternoon and evening, paddled Pipeline after the sun went down, headed to Bottom's Up for dinner, and then hung late night at her hotel. (on that note, homeless people love hotels, or at least this homeless guy does. I find them to be awesome for some reason, especially with free continental breakfast.).......we also walked the Southside Floodwall earlier in the day, and walked Richmond Hill in Church Hill. For one day, I feel as though I gave her a pretty good tour of the REAL RVA.
The birthday weekend ended up to be more of an adventure than I thought it would be, but for the most part I behaved myself. However, living day by day has it's true bonuses, like not knowing what is coming next. Well, for me it was Bristol Motor Speedway, Nolichucky Rafting, and a redneck education unlike anything I have ever received..........so stay tuned.
"I'm from West Virginia. If you didn't know what was happening in NASCAR, you were on the outside. NASCAR is a big league sport, but it's also still country and redneck."
~Randy Moss~
The fact that quote is coming from a black man is what makes it so awesome. The diversity that I see coming in our country's future is one of the true inspirations that keeps me going.
See ya at the Strip Club.......stay off those poles. PEACE
