“Man is not, by nature, deserving of all that he wants. When we think that we are automatically entitled to something, that is when we start walking all over others to get it.”
~Criss Jami~
Most boating communities exist within a certain region, and are surrounded by multiple whitewater rivahs in a mountainous or elevated terrain. This makes perfect sense considering there are four essential elements that must consolidate in order to produce rapids in a rivah........rocks, water, gradient, and constriction. If you are missing even one of those four elements then you are also missing whitewater. Due to this mandatory combination, whitewater is rare. It exists on less than five percent of all rivahs on earth. It is even more unlikely to find whitewater in non-mountainous territories. It does exist, but it takes a unique geological occurrence in order to produce rapids in a flat environment. There is no better example of a non mountainous whitewater rivah than the James Rivah in Virginia. Finally, it is extremely rare to find large volume quality whitewater within the middle of a major metropolitan area. Given the explanation of the first two variables of this equation I trust that you can see why. Given all of these factors, Richmond Virginia is the best example of high quality urban whitewater anywhere within the United States, and we truly do possess an extremely rare and unique natural gem.
When you combine one whitewater rivah with a large population of people, it produces a rather sizable and quickly expanding paddling community...........and as I have stated before, it produces a lot of cooks in one not so big kitchen. Over the past five years or so one of the head chef's in that kitchen has consistently made a name for himself through exploiting his position of power in the community, failing in his role of social leadership at the takeout, and abusing his job as a responsible father in life..................yep. I'm talking about The Fat Bastard of Fourteenth Street ..............................and it's about time for me to go there.
"There are two circumstances that lead to arrogance: one is when you're wrong and you can't face it; the other is when you're right and nobody else can face it.”
~Criss Jami~
Let's be clear about this quote. I have been on BOTH sides of that fence.
I am going to explain this as simply and as bluntly as possible. Two weeks ago there was an incident at the put in of the rivah. It involved The Fat Bastard and a very well known, very well liked young, local boater. The incident resulted in the young boaters leg being severely broken in multiple places. He is out of boating for the better part of a year, and it is an unfortunate tragedy that should have never happened.
Many stories have been floating around the boating community about what happened that day, but I believe that every single person who knows of the incident is well aware of exactly what took place. I have heard the stories that have been reported and passed through the community, and I have put my own logical conclusion together about what happened....................IN MY OPINION, The Fat Bastard of Fourteenth Street viciously and violently assaulted one of our most beloved fellow boaters, and he should be in jail for aggravated assault...........I doubt there are many who would disagree.
The story of what happened that day is not mine to tell, and you will not be hearing about it in this post or any other piece of writing I may produce. It's a story that will reveal itself over time and in the proper manner. There are many haters out there reading this right now who are probably thinking, "Here comes the part where he tells us 'I told ya so.'" That will not be coming either. I may be an asshole, but I still have a heart. Instead, the main thing you will be hearing from me today is an apology.
My apology is to the entire RVA paddling community, and I am apologizing for failing to stop something from happening that I had the power to prevent. Had I stuck to my own instincts and followed through with the assault charges filed against The Fat Bastard last summer, he would have thought twice about violently assaulting a fellow boater, and more importantly, hurting a friend. I backed away from something that I knew was right, and as a result a good person was injured. I didn't do it because I was intimidated by The Fat Bastard. I did it because I felt guilty about making waves in the paddling community, and I did it because I truly felt sorry for that piece of shit at the time.........................oh how I regret that decision. For my friends sake, I always will.
“We go through the present blindfolded... Only later, when the blindfold is removed and we examine the past, do we realize what we've been through and understand what it means. ”
When you combine one whitewater rivah with a large population of people, it produces a rather sizable and quickly expanding paddling community...........and as I have stated before, it produces a lot of cooks in one not so big kitchen. Over the past five years or so one of the head chef's in that kitchen has consistently made a name for himself through exploiting his position of power in the community, failing in his role of social leadership at the takeout, and abusing his job as a responsible father in life..................yep. I'm talking about The Fat Bastard of Fourteenth Street ..............................and it's about time for me to go there.
~Criss Jami~
Let's be clear about this quote. I have been on BOTH sides of that fence.
I am going to explain this as simply and as bluntly as possible. Two weeks ago there was an incident at the put in of the rivah. It involved The Fat Bastard and a very well known, very well liked young, local boater. The incident resulted in the young boaters leg being severely broken in multiple places. He is out of boating for the better part of a year, and it is an unfortunate tragedy that should have never happened.
Many stories have been floating around the boating community about what happened that day, but I believe that every single person who knows of the incident is well aware of exactly what took place. I have heard the stories that have been reported and passed through the community, and I have put my own logical conclusion together about what happened....................IN MY OPINION, The Fat Bastard of Fourteenth Street viciously and violently assaulted one of our most beloved fellow boaters, and he should be in jail for aggravated assault...........I doubt there are many who would disagree.
The story of what happened that day is not mine to tell, and you will not be hearing about it in this post or any other piece of writing I may produce. It's a story that will reveal itself over time and in the proper manner. There are many haters out there reading this right now who are probably thinking, "Here comes the part where he tells us 'I told ya so.'" That will not be coming either. I may be an asshole, but I still have a heart. Instead, the main thing you will be hearing from me today is an apology.
My apology is to the entire RVA paddling community, and I am apologizing for failing to stop something from happening that I had the power to prevent. Had I stuck to my own instincts and followed through with the assault charges filed against The Fat Bastard last summer, he would have thought twice about violently assaulting a fellow boater, and more importantly, hurting a friend. I backed away from something that I knew was right, and as a result a good person was injured. I didn't do it because I was intimidated by The Fat Bastard. I did it because I felt guilty about making waves in the paddling community, and I did it because I truly felt sorry for that piece of shit at the time.........................oh how I regret that decision. For my friends sake, I always will.
“We go through the present blindfolded... Only later, when the blindfold is removed and we examine the past, do we realize what we've been through and understand what it means. ”
~Milan Kundera~
Perhaps that quote is really telling us to learn from our mistakes, because it is only after you try and fail that you learn to strive for what is in front of you rather than dwell on what lies behind you................trust me. I learned that lesson the hard way. I cannot fix my friends leg and I cannot stop The Fat Bastard from assaulting him, just like I can't put my family back together. What's done is done............but I can learn from this.............I think we all can.
This is the part that is going to sting for some..............................I won't take full responsibility for what happened. There are many, many boaters in this town who have spent years watching The Fat Bastard set a poor and reckless example for the younger generation of Whitewater Dirt Bags in and around RVA. We have watched him at the put-in, openly getting high and drunk after paddling, and then hopping in his car, with his son, and driving away, only to head to Legends, our local bar. Don't get me wrong. I am all about the rivah life, but not at the expense of a child, and not while risking the safety of others. We have all sat in Legends many times questioning why an eleven year old kid and his dad are "bonding" over a beer and a glass of cherries, before dad "innocently" drives them both home. And we have all observed The Fat Bastard pimp his son's paddling abilities out to whomever will pay attention, desperately attempting to live vicariously through his son's natural abilities. We are all guilty. Many sat by and said, "I don't want to get involved. It isn't my concern. I just won't say anything and pretend it doesn't exist."......................I guess everyone's perception really is their own reality.
Now one of our own is suffering, and the transgressor of the attack is walking free.......................why? It is simple. He did what The Fat Bastard has always done.......................he attempted to lie his way out of it. Am I a hypocrite?................yep. I had an affair and lied about it WELL past the point that I should have, to pretty much everyone in my life I cared about. The only thing I can do to remedy that mistake now is accept it, take accountability, and move the fuck on. But I never lied about my own encounter with The Fat Bastard. I simply wrote what happened, taking responsibility for my own part in the encounter. Did I provoke him by calling him out in front of his son?..............maybe. But I never lied. I told that story EXACTLY how it happened, and simply posted it and then let everyone come to their own conclusions.
But I know The Fat Bastard did what he works hard at to do so well.........he attempted to manipulate the paddling community into seeing him as the hero, and anyone in his way as the villain. He questioned my veracity, all while politicking for everyone else to do the same. And he made every attempt to disgrace my name as much as possible, using The Fourteenth Street Whore as his accomplice along the way. (By the way, we will get back to that dirty little yakin' slut a little later on down the road.) He worked hard to do all of this, all while I just kept writing and kept letting everyone come to their own conclusions and think what they wanted to think. Believe what you want. I didn't care last summer, and I don't care now..................but what I do care about is my friend, and the fact that he is and will be suffering for a long time because of the actions of this one man.
“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”
~Edmund Burke~
“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”
~Edmund Burke~
I have used this quote before...........no one listened the first time. Anyone listening now?
The question is, where do we go from here? There is light at the end of the tunnel and I am optimistic that the paddling community has begun to see the ways of their previous wrongs. In my original post about The Fat Bastard, there were two points that I drove home in the hopes that change would come. The first was the handicap parking sign being replaced at the takeout, and the second was The Fat Bastard being removed from the JROC Board. Both of these problems have been remedied. I am sure that The Island Chronicles had absolutely nothing to do with that....................coincidences happen all the time. (Can you see me rolling my eyes? I refrained from posting my selfie with the handicap sign........it was tough.) But regardless, I am very pleased to see change occurring. The board members chosen for the next generation of JROC, although all loving that ride on the bandwagon, are wise choices. (I am sure that statement just surprised some................ and on a side note, Maxi-pad, I am going to disregard your bitch move at the put-in the other day. Next time, man up and tell your friend hello. If it happens again I'll call you out in person. I know you. You would hate that.) These guys really care about The James..........maybe a little too much, but their passion is a great thing. I believe the chosen team has the ability to do the right thing and make the correct choices. The newly appointed fearless leader, my favorite little leprechaun, already stepped up to the plate when he stated that he would not, in any way, be associated with JROC if The Fat Bastard was involved............way to go little buddy! Keep up the good work. My only words of wisdom for the youngsters would be this...................
~Martin Luther King Jr.~
It's a rivah........politics need not apply. We have enough of that everywhere else around us. Learn from past mistakes and make sure the ways of The Fat Bastard disappear with his reputation.
Finally, the most important point.............everyones favorite RVA boater. He is the only one suffering in all this, and for what it is worth, I am truly sorry for not responding when I had the chance to prevent this. You are one of the most gifted boaters I have ever had the privilege of paddling with and I am eager to witness your comeback, because I know it is going to be something special to watch. Your best is yet to come, and this is nothing more than a small portage in that wild ass rivah of life. You will be boofing stouts and styling lines again in no time. Keep your head up, and know that an army of boaters and friends are behind you.........THAT, I am sure of.
~Thomas Paine~
See ya on the rivah........................and looking forward to a brighter future. PEACE
