"The things you own end up owning you."
~Tyler Durden~
April 12th ~ Journal Entry ~ Day 11
"I am reading 'The Tao of Pooh' right now, and Taoism makes sense to me. In fact, I think it applies to what I am doing here on the island. Pooh is simpleminded and he represents the idea of Taoism perfectly. He doesn't fret, like Eeyore, hesitate, like Piglet, calculate, like rabbit, or ponificate like owl......Pooh just is. When I am on the island, I just am. I eat, drink water, take walks, kayak, read, write, cut trails, collect driftwood, and admire the natural world around me....I just exist here, with no judgments.
The story of "The Vinegar Tasters" explains how I see the world perfectly. Pooh is looking at an ancient Chinese scroll with a painting of three men standing around a vat of vinegar. Each man has dipped his finger into the Vinegar and taken a taste. Each man holds a different reaction on his face. The three men represent the "three teachings" of China, and the vinegar they are tasting represents the essence of life. The three men are Confucius, Buddha, and Lao-tse, author of the oldest existing book on Taoism. Confucius has a sour taste on his face, Buddha has a bitter look, but Lao-tse is smiling.
"To Confucius, life seemed rather sour. He believed that the present was out of step with the past, and that the government of man on earth was out of harmony with the way of Heaven, the Government of the universe." ** Confucius was a traditionalist, and believed that everything in the world added up to a system of rituals.
"To Buddha, the second figure, life on earth was bitter, filled with attachments and desires that led to suffering. The world was seen as a setter of traps, a generator of illusions, a revolving wheel of pain for all creatures." ** "In order to find peace, the Buddha must reach Nirvana, literally 'a state of no wind.' The devout buddhist often saw the way to Nirvana interrupted all the same by the bitter wind of everyday existence." **
"To Lao-tse, the harmony that naturally existed between heaven and earth from the very beginning could be found by anyone at anytime......earth was in essence a reflection of heaven, run by the same laws------not the laws of man.......the more man interfered with the natural balance produced and governed by the Universal Laws, the further away the harmony retreated into the distance. The more forcing, the more trouble. Whether heavy or light, wet or dry, fast or slow, everything had its own nature already within it, which could not be violated without causing difficulties. When abstract and arbitrary rules were imposed from the outside, struggle was inevitable. Only then did life become sour." **
"To Lao-tse, the world was not a setter of traps, but a teacher of valuable lessons.....the basic Taoism we are concerned with here is simply a particular way of appreciating, learning from, and and working with whatever happens in everyday life. From the Taoists point of view, the natural result of this harmonious way of living is happiness." **
"In the painting, why is Lao-tse smiling? After all, the vinegar that represents life must certainly have an unpleasant taste, as the expressions on the faces of the other two men indicate. But, through working in harmony with life's circumstances, Taoists understanding changes what others may perceive as negative into something positive. From the Taoist point of view, sourness and bitterness come from the interfering and unappreciative mind. Life itself, when understood and utilized for what it is, is sweet. That is the message of 'The Vinegar Tasters'." **
** - all quotes taken directly from 'The Tao of Pooh-
So why do I relate so well to an ancient Chinese scroll being analyzed by Winnie the Pooh and author Benjamin Hoff?.....simple. When I am on the island, I follow the practices and beliefs of Lao-tse. When I leave the island I struggle in the 'Real World' with the viewpoints of Confucius and Buddha. I do view modern society as being out of touch with our past, and I have many attachments and desires that lead to an immense amount of suffering, for me, and for the people who love me, or did love me at one point. Buddha saw the world as a setter of traps, and I feel cornered by many things that have happened in my life....trapped, with no way out. Like Confucius, I view modern society as too complex, and the systems that are in place to 'control' it have become too complex, failing those who are simpleminded, like me. I feel that modern society forces us all to suffer, in order to gain some measure of success in our lives.
A good example is the RVa skyline that looms over the James. The skyscrapers were built by men, men with massive egos who believed that they needed to build modern day temples to prove their power, and then put their names on top, for all the world to see. (hopefully none of those dudes are reading this.....if so, I would be amazed) The workers they hire inside are trapped by monetary gains, held in check by a consumer driven world. To make matters worse for the worker bees, the temples are designed with picture windows so they can look out over the world they instinctively want to be a part of. (which is really fucked up if you think about it, but better than a concrete wall I guess) They look out on what is now my world.
I do not know of a single one of my friends who work in these environments and come home in the evenings saying they were happy to have spent their day in a box, staring at a computer....or out a window.....but like Buddha, they are in a world that is a setter of traps. Without going to these daily "cells", they wouldn't be able to afford to come back to their homes, that are most likely more than they need, in overly luxurious cars that drain overpriced gas and pollute the planet. They are slaves of consumerism, trapped out of fear of losing the things around them that in reality, they don't even need. The only way out of the trap is to lose it all, as I did. Having everything in my life taken from me was the only thing that ever set me free. (children obviously excluded from that)
Without a house, need for my car, or a bunch of crap, I have been able to escape the trap, even if only for a while. I have spent six bucks in two weeks to live here. I get my food from a food bank or generous people (who assume I am starving.....only sometimes) water from anywhere, and the other day I worked half a day for twenty bucks and a tank of gas, which I really have no need for. If it was not for the massive debt I collected off the island over the last few years, I literally could live for almost free. I am happy and comfortable here, and to me it is the second best way of living aside from being with Marlow and Quint. I know that I am healing out here, and I hope to one day show my sons the world I now call home."
I know what you are thinking....."what an asshole. How dare he criticize my life." I promise you, that is not the point here. I understand why people live the way they do.....to take care of their families, to take care of their kids, and to be comfortable. I sat in an empty house all winter long, and didn't understand the point in it if it wasn't going to be filled with the laughter of children, and the love of family. Dave Chappelle said it best;
"If it were not for women, a man wouldn't buy a house. He would be happy living in a cardboard box!"
He is not far off, but trust me, I do not intend to end up in a cardboard box. I just feel it is my time to do something different.......and apparently piss off a lot of people in the process. But more importantly, I hope to motivate people to view the world we live in while stepping outside the box; to view things in a different way. I just hope that the next time you take a break and look out that big picture window, you think to yourself, "man, I could do that."....this way, if shit ever hits the fan, and trust me, it could, you will have enough belief in yourself to do something unique, to do something epic; and in the process, maybe, just maybe, discover a part of you that you never knew existed. I am, and it may make all the difference in the end.
See ya on the river. PEACE!
