~Hemingway~
May 20th ~ Journal Entry ~ Day Forty Nine
"I awoke on Monday morning ready to tackle my day with a fierce approach. I was on a mission; make sure Errol celebrated a good birthday on the island. The guy has helped me out so much and is having knee surgery in 2 days, so the least I can do is take him to the island and give him a mini vacation of fishing, rafting, exploring, chilling, eating, drinking, and R & R. We were up and moving by 7am, and Errol was on his own mission to get his daughter off to school and wife off to work so that we could 'maximize our time on the island for the entire day.' We had all the gear loaded, the food packed, and groceries bought, and found ourselves at the marina before 9am......not bad. We headed to Tredegar to allow Errol the chance to make it to the island on the easiest whitewater route possible. Parking at Tredegar gives you the ability to make it to the Western Tip of The Island while only needing to run Fishladder's Rapid. (for those of you not affiliated with the James, it is the rapid next to Brown's Island.) This would give Errol a fighting chance at not swimming, given he was six foot four and weighed two hundred and fifty pounds, had minimal solo boating whitewater experience, and would be paddling the following watercraft................................
....................it was going to be an interesting day. I was excited for a number of reasons, but none more than the opportunity to watch one of my closest and oldest friends eat complete shit in a controlled and safe environment. Errol was only given one option in how he was going to learn......the school of hard knocks. This meant that I had complete control over the judgement of what he could and could not do and he had to do whatever I said without questioning anything. In other words, he was screwed.
We loaded up the boat and I packed my kayak with gear for The Island and the short paddle out. The level was around six feet and change, which was a good flow. Errol styled Fishladders in the mini oar rig, then had no problem with the ferry to The Island. We spent the day fishing, grilling bbq chicken, drinking, swimming, more fishing, more eating, and exploring the whitewater in both my kayak and the oar rig. Here is some poorly shot video from the days events. Seriously E, you are a terrible cameraman.
...............by the way, the fishing is always like that. It's because The Island is awesome! The day was utilized well, but I saved the best for last. I told Errol we would run Pipeline on the paddle out, which ate at his nerves most of the afternoon. Frankly, I didn't think he stood a chance making it through Pipeline in a mini oar rig, and I think Errol probably thought the same thing. I gave him an alternative: Paddle Conception in the oar rig instead. He took me up on this option, although he had never seen Conception. My description was spot on in my mind....."it's an easy Class II entrance, then a little pour over, then some Class II run out." I thought this was an accurate description.
Errol ran the Class II entrance with no problem and then eddied out to look at the pour over. The main drop of Conception is actually about 5 or 6 feet with a punchy hole at the base, but if I had told him this he may have bailed. I knew that once he ran the entrance he had no choice, so now all I needed to do was convince him he could do it. He was trapped. (I would never do this to anyone other than my closest friends).........At this point I was reminded of something I had forgotten. Ten years of whitewater experience makes one view a whitewater rapid very differently from that of a normal person. Essentially, what seems impossible to some, is actually an easy Class III or IV line to most paddlers. This made me laugh, because I knew Errol was now way outside his comfort zone.
After a few moments of contemplation, and a failed attempt to convince me I should run the oar rig, Errol was ready to drop his first real rapid in his mini oar rig and I was stoked to watch him eat complete shit........and then save him. I ran the drop first to show him the line and set up safety below. The level was around 6 and a half feet, making Conception about perfect for any kind of boat. He lined the drop up perfectly, focused on having his oars out of the way, and then dropped in. As he came over the drop, I remember thinking, "wow. Errol and the rig look pretty small coming over the lip." His bow dropped over the lip, Errol threw all his weight forward, and then the entire rig submerged into the hole. With one powerful stroke just at the base of the drop, Errol exploded out of the hole and cleaned the drop. I was amazed, and I think he was too!
He was so excited he had cleaned the drop that he forgot to line up the Class II run out. He hit a rock, rolled around it, and lost one of his oars. Celebration turned to panic as he looked at me and yelled "What do I do!!" I just laughed because I knew he was safe and just needed to pull into an eddy, which he successfully did. The lost oar ended up pinned to a rock, and after a quick rescue mission to retrieve it, the day was a success.
"The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places."
~Hemingway~
The next two weeks of life after Errol's birthday fell into a sense of normalcy. I paddled to work, lived on the island, hung out with friends, and enjoyed a lot of campfires and quiet nights reading to the sounds of rapids. I was starting to understand that the life I was leading fit me, and suited my personality. The problem was, no one else was very understanding to the choices I had made. My family and Marcelle's family continued to go out of their way to keep the boys from me, fail to update me with any news of how they were, and even censor pictures of the boys online so that I could not see them. This is an entirely different story that will be told at a later date, but the fact is that outside of the normal and healthy routine I was living, my heart was completely empty without the boys.......and it still is. That is the reason I have decided to skip writing about Weeks 9 and 10. I unintentionally ran across certain pictures of my sons that broke my heart, and for the most part I spent Weeks 9 and 10 alone to contemplate my ability to forgive people. My conclusion is that there are certain people in this world who do not deserve to be forgiven, and I plan to never allow them to forget the choices they have made. Am I pissed off?.....your damn right I am.
See ya' on the rivah! PEACE
Errol ran the Class II entrance with no problem and then eddied out to look at the pour over. The main drop of Conception is actually about 5 or 6 feet with a punchy hole at the base, but if I had told him this he may have bailed. I knew that once he ran the entrance he had no choice, so now all I needed to do was convince him he could do it. He was trapped. (I would never do this to anyone other than my closest friends).........At this point I was reminded of something I had forgotten. Ten years of whitewater experience makes one view a whitewater rapid very differently from that of a normal person. Essentially, what seems impossible to some, is actually an easy Class III or IV line to most paddlers. This made me laugh, because I knew Errol was now way outside his comfort zone.
After a few moments of contemplation, and a failed attempt to convince me I should run the oar rig, Errol was ready to drop his first real rapid in his mini oar rig and I was stoked to watch him eat complete shit........and then save him. I ran the drop first to show him the line and set up safety below. The level was around 6 and a half feet, making Conception about perfect for any kind of boat. He lined the drop up perfectly, focused on having his oars out of the way, and then dropped in. As he came over the drop, I remember thinking, "wow. Errol and the rig look pretty small coming over the lip." His bow dropped over the lip, Errol threw all his weight forward, and then the entire rig submerged into the hole. With one powerful stroke just at the base of the drop, Errol exploded out of the hole and cleaned the drop. I was amazed, and I think he was too!
He was so excited he had cleaned the drop that he forgot to line up the Class II run out. He hit a rock, rolled around it, and lost one of his oars. Celebration turned to panic as he looked at me and yelled "What do I do!!" I just laughed because I knew he was safe and just needed to pull into an eddy, which he successfully did. The lost oar ended up pinned to a rock, and after a quick rescue mission to retrieve it, the day was a success.
"The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places."
~Hemingway~
The next two weeks of life after Errol's birthday fell into a sense of normalcy. I paddled to work, lived on the island, hung out with friends, and enjoyed a lot of campfires and quiet nights reading to the sounds of rapids. I was starting to understand that the life I was leading fit me, and suited my personality. The problem was, no one else was very understanding to the choices I had made. My family and Marcelle's family continued to go out of their way to keep the boys from me, fail to update me with any news of how they were, and even censor pictures of the boys online so that I could not see them. This is an entirely different story that will be told at a later date, but the fact is that outside of the normal and healthy routine I was living, my heart was completely empty without the boys.......and it still is. That is the reason I have decided to skip writing about Weeks 9 and 10. I unintentionally ran across certain pictures of my sons that broke my heart, and for the most part I spent Weeks 9 and 10 alone to contemplate my ability to forgive people. My conclusion is that there are certain people in this world who do not deserve to be forgiven, and I plan to never allow them to forget the choices they have made. Am I pissed off?.....your damn right I am.
See ya' on the rivah! PEACE
