Round 5: The Story (The Space Between)

“A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her.”
                                                        ~Oscar Wilde~



  Life #3 - The Space Between. Marcelle and I led two very different lifestyles while living outside of Brevard, but our interests, our way of life, and our passion for the outdoors were always comparable. However, we demonstrated that passion in our own, unique way. Remember, during the times that The Epic Worthlessness that is Man was engaging in the multiple shenanigans that accompanied the lifestyle, Marcelle was living her own dream even deeper in the vast wilderness of WNC. Her days were spent on trail dealing with the hoods of the woods, dodging falling branches while stuck deep in the forest during the epic WNC ice storms that seemed to only hit while she was on trail, and testing her wealth of classroom knowledge with students she grew to love and admire. I was always proud of Marcelle's accomplishments in WNC, and was always supportive of the career she had chosen, regardless of the fact that it took a majority of time away from our relationship..................remember what I just said.
   The space that existed between our two lives is where Marcelle and I would always find a way into one another's heart, and the adventures that were produced in that space were always epic. We tested each other to a far greater degree than we ever tested ourselves. We moved to Brevard in 2005 and both of us had spent the years prior to the move, building ourselves into top physical form through multiple nights of premier league soccer, weekends pushing rubber on the low water James (which will make you very strong, much-more-so than any high water summer will), and the constant challenge of pushing each other to be that much more complete. Marcelle and I had spent a lifetime playing a very high level of soccer, and we both had a fierce competitive streak within us. When we moved to Brevard, our fitness level combined with our fiery competitive streaks forced us to not only push each other in the adventures we chose, but also prevented either of us from backing down to the challenges of the other.................this mentality also produced a very intense relationship to be built between the two of us, but at times I question if it also tore us apart.
   

“Real learning comes about when the competitive spirit has ceased.”
~Jiddu Krishnamurti~


  There are once again hundreds of stories that could be told to exemplify this consistent competition that existed, but it was when we saw things eye to eye that we were always at our best. I stated in a previous post that Marcelle and I were a good hire for USA Raft because we came as a two for one deal. This was very important to our manager, because on weekends when Marcelle was off trail we were able to travel to Hot Springs together to make some extra cash guiding. Any rafting manager will tell you, it is a tremendous benefit to be able to make one phone call and secure two highly qualified raft guides at once for a trip. Due to this set up, it was not long before Marcelle and I were being selected for the top trips of the day, and we were selected for those trips by the top trip leaders of the company. One of those leaders was a man named T.J., and in all my years of guiding, paddling, and traveling, T.J. was probably the most colorful character to ever cross my path.
   When I first met T.J. he seemed to be a quiet, down to earth, veteran rivah guide in his mid 40's. He was a big man, standing around 6 foot 3, with a grey goatee and a Sean Connery style profile. He spent a solid 20 years guiding the Upper G during Gauley season, and possessed the stories to back that experience. He was knowledgeable on and off the rivah, an outstanding leader, and he loved to guide with Marcelle and I. We always secured private, three boat trips full of the kind of custy's that loved to tip. Seniority allowed T.J. to always have first dibs on trips, so he always chose the best. He also had first dibs on guides, in which he also chose the best, Marcelle and I. (yes, my ego is speaking. If I am sitting in the guide hole of a raft, it always will. I know what I do well) Our trips ran smooth as butter, every time. The key to a rivah trip is to push quickly and smoothly down rivah, all the while keeping custy's entertained so they don't notice the pace they are moving. Rookies have a habit of being slow, sticking their boats in the rocks, pinning, and sometimes flipping, producing a yard sale through every rapid......................in short, rookies suck, and slow trips down. I would always run the lead boat to set a pace, Marcelle would follow right behind me, and T.J. would bring up the rear in order to sweep up any carnage that we left behind. (which only happened when we wanted it to happen) This set up produced a record setting pace to our trips, allowing us to flip doubles on a daily basis and rake in some serious weekend cash. Marcelle, T.J. and I became experts at how to get it done quickly, smoothly, and we always left our custy's with smiles on their faces!
   You are probably asking yourself why T.J. was the most colorful character to ever cross my path during my whitewater adventures. Well, like me, T.J. possessed the complexity of his own double life. On one side, T.J. was as hardcore as they came, flipping boats on the rapids of the Gauley, partaking in late night moonshine fiasco's, and leading the next generation of dirt bag kayakers through endless whitewater adventures. On the other side, however, T.J. possessed a unique quality to his life that very few people ever have the courage to explore.
   T.J. owned the largest nightclub in Asheville, a three story boarded up mansion named Scandals. From the outside, you would have never known the spot contained some of the wildest debauchery this side of the French Broad. But once you entered, you were perplexed by the contents of this hidden fortress of seduction and depravity. Scandals drew every kind of party seeking miscreant hidden in WNC. Be it gay or straight, black or white, drag or authentic, everyone who entered Scandals was walking into a kaleidoscope of culture and alternative lifestyle. T.J. was a smart business man and knew that hiring employees from the drag and gay communities was not a wise idea considering the activities that commenced at the club. As T.J. put it, "Queens are full of too much drama." Due to this, the driving security force of Scandals consisted of out of work rivah guides and dirt bag kayaking bums. This was a genius business move on T.J.'s part, and led to very little trouble in the club.
   It was how T.J. came to own this kingdom of corruption that makes him so colorful. In the late eighties and throughout the nineties, T.J. traveled the world as one of the most famous Drag Queens of his era...........his name was Aurora Borealis.
   

Aurora Borealis during the height of his career in 1995

    

   Yes everyone, the picture above is a man, and not only that, it is a hard ass rivah guide who didn't fuck around when it came to pushin' rubber or keeping custy's in line. The first time I attended a night out at Scandals, I passed by a trophy case full of history of Aurora Borealis and his "days on the road". While looking over the contents of the case, I remember coming across the picture above, and not knowing who or what it was, turned to Marcelle and stated in a drunken stupor, "Look at her. She's hot."..................Marcelle went years without letting me live that one down, but in all honesty, how could I have known. The transformation is remarkable.


“It's a sort of piss-take on culture, because a drag queen is a clown - a parody of our society. It's a sarcastic spoof on culture, which allows us to laugh at ourselves - but in a way that is inclusive of everyone.”
                                                               ~RuPaul~

   Marcelle and I were not frequent visitors of Scandals. Not only did we live in the stix, but we also remained very diverse in our activities and travels during our days in WNC, so a night at Scandals was usually a planned date that included dinner in "the city" followed by the midnight show at the club. Marcelle loved Scandals and was always excited to see a show. It says a lot about a relationship when your date nights include drag shows. Because of our connection with the club, we were always invited to the VIP Lounge and Scandals always made sure we were shown a good time. (In re-reading that last sentence I realize it could mean a variety of things..........don't let your imaginations get the best of you. The VIP Lounge and Champagne Room are NOT the same thing, especially in the Drag Club.)
   I loved taking Marcelle to the shows because she loved the environment, and seeing her happy made me happy. I will never forget the one night my drag club experience got the best of me though. Marcelle and I and a few other friends were partaking in a rather wild night of shots before a midnight show that featured a Drag King. This was a concept that was new to me. A Drag King is exactly what you think it is...........a woman dressed up as a man. When she appeared on stage it was obvious that she had nailed the look.............black leather jacket, sideburns, and an over the top rugged manner that she flaunted to the colorfully divergent crowd. However, after a few minutes on stage I noticed that the featured king was returning to perform for Marcelle again and again, and the look that she/he was giving my girlfriend and future wife was not one that was making me feel inordinately pleased . You have to understand how confusing this was for me................I didn't know if I was supposed to kick his ass or encourage the charade in the hope that I could witness something undoubtedly unique. I mean, what is a man supposed to do when a drag king starts scoping out his own girlfriend. The situation was distressingly uncomfortable for me, so I retreated to the VIP room for a safety talk with one of the security guards and fellow boaters. For the remainder of the evening, I kept a very close eye on that cunning little miscreant, and made sure whenever she was close to Marcelle, so was I. I learned an important lesson that night that I carry with me to this day.....................if something seems a bit askew, it most likely is, so whatever you do trust in your own instincts and don't ever trust a Drag King. They just cross too many lines of peculiar irregularity for me..................but I was walking a fine line on this night. How would I ever explain to anyone that I was justified in engaging in a brawl with a woman dressed up as a man because he/she was propositioning my girlfriend? I couldn't. I just had to deal with it. I think that night scarred me for life.  

“Morals are nothing but a civilized society’s attempt to tame the beast called man.”
                                                 ~Mokokoma Mokhonoana~

   The late night experiences produced by Marcelle and I were small potatoes compared to the experiences we engaged in throughout the backwoods of WNC.  We utilized the time between 2005 and 2008 well, and immersed ourselves into the growing outdoor culture of the area.  In the Fall of 2005, after we first arrived in the Asheville area, we attended The Green Race.  For those of you who do not boat, The Green Race is the most revered competition in whitewater kayaking and the greatest show in sports.  Many accounts have been written describing The Green Race, so I will steal from others to explain this day in a nutshell................

  "No doubt the single most famous, most respected, and most competitive creek race on the planet, the annual Green Race remains a fabulous and homespun little affair held each Fall on the steepest section of Western North Carolina's Green River Narrows. Local boaters train here for much of the year due to the reliable flows, and people come from literally around the world to compete. More than five hundred friends and family members either hike or paddle in to watch and cheer on every racer, scattering themselves along the river's boulders and bedrock near the photogenic signature rapid called Gorilla -- a.k.a. "The Monkey" -- heart and soul of the entire run.
   Looming larger than life in any paddler's mind, the Green Race is -- save for a few individuals -- largely not about winning. It's more about having clean lines and a safe run, making a personal best time, beating (or losing to) a friend by a few seconds, and simply participating in such a unique event and the fine community that surrounds it all. And yet to date, in eighteen years, with perhaps several thousand people having navigated and portaged themselves down the Green in total, only 539 people have ever entered the race."
                                                          ~John Pilson~

**** Follow this link for a more detailed explanation of The Green Race.****

   The Green Race is special for any true kayaker, regardless of whether or not you have ever raced.   If you have attended or competed in the race then you know why.  It is a magical day, set in a magical place. However, in recent years, The Green Race has been infected by the same plague that infects the RVA boating community, or most any boating community for that matter..............the ignorance of the masses.  The sport of kayaking is growing, and unfortunately the increase in numbers brings an increase in stupidity.  These days the gorge is overcrowded on race day with spectators tearing down the mountainside, destroying the vegetation and trails as they descend into the gorge.  Worse yet, the race is quickly developing a reputation of being the greatest 'shit show' on earth, with many boaters entering the affair who are not skilled enough to race.  This small example on race day demonstrates a larger problem as a whole for the sport of kayaking............boaters running things they are not ready to run.  The competition aspect of the RVA paddling scene perpetuates this problem, creating scenes like the infamous Dumb Ass on the Log.................my conclusion.  Kayaking was never meant to become popular.  Its cloistered existence among extreme sports is what gives it so much charm.  As the numbers increase, the magic that makes our sport what it is will begin to fade............I can only hope that my theory here is wrong.

   Due to this problem, our attendance at The Green Race in 2005 now holds a special place in my heart.  Marcelle and I hiked into the gorge early on the morning of the race, and spent the day exploring the rapids of the Monster Mile, watching boater after boater descend the rivah that I idolized at the time.  I never thought I would become good enough to descend that rivah, but in 2007 I would prove myself wrong. 

   2005 was still early enough to allow the charm, homegrown feel, and originality of The Green Race to shine, and I soaked up every minute of the day.  My favorite paddler, Tommy Hilleke, a six time Green Race champion, won his last race of his career on that day, and I sat with Marcelle next to Gorilla, watching him boof into history.  Everything about the day was captivating...............the people, the forest, the rapids, the boaters, the community, and the archaic existence it still held.  I was proud that I was able to experience it with Marcelle, and was able to see the tail end of "the good ole days."  She and I truly loved the experience, and there is no one else in the world that I would have wanted to experience it with.  We returned to the race in 2006 but witnessed a scene that had changed entirely.  The crowds were thicker, the boaters were less skilled, and the feel of the day was just not there.  I swore after that day that I would never attend a Green Race again, content to hold the memory of the 2005 race forever in my heart. 

“Time ripens all things; no man is born wise.”
                      ~Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra~   

   The space between our two lives contained endless adventures that were only shared by Marcelle and I, and would have never meant so much if they hadn't been experienced together. We once hiked 27 miles of the Black Mountain Crest Trail and the nightmarish side trail in 24 hours, which included camping in consistent 60 mile per hour winds throughout the night, a 3.5 mile climb that changed in elevation by a little under 4000 feet, massive blow downs that we had to climb over and crawl through, and every conceivable weather pattern possible within a 24 hour period. I still remember to this day I have never felt weakness in my legs like I did on the final mile of that hike. T, the dog, literally attempted to give up on us at times. He simply sat under a tree in the pouring rain refusing to move..........and he was one tough dog. We traversed from the bottom of The Big East Fork to the top of Shining Rock in record time, climbing about 3500 feet in 3 miles. However, we did end up lost in the woods at one point, so we had to hike further than anticipated. That climb was one of the toughest hikes I have ever made, but the experience of reaching the top with Marcelle was triumphant. I paddled the Upper Green with Marcelle, watching her style Bayless Boof in a 10.5 foot Occee Canoe, and then carried the damn thing half a mile up the mountain after the run. I was determined to see her drop that rapid, and the pride I had at the time was unmatched. My girlfriend was a bad ass, but was also the sweetest, most caring woman I had or have ever met. Again, whether looking at it back then or today, there is no one I would have rather experienced any of these successes with, and I hold no regrets. It was on top of those ridge lines, deep in the gorges, and under those stars that I found my soul mate, and it was there that I discovered the love of my life.
   What happened to Marcelle and I in the end is in no way short of a tragedy, a tragedy that I induced. We created moments of perfection during our time together, and it is those moments I will always hold close to my heart. The perfection of those moments did not exist anymore so then when we found each other in the space between our two lives. As I write this story I continue to learn more and more about myself, and continue to understand why it is that this had to happen. The next few posts are going to be turning a corner, and there is some true heartbreak just around that corner. It saddens me to come to the end of this post, because the stories I have written lately contain some of the happiest times of my life...............not because we were young, wild, and free, and not because we were tearing through the backwoods of the WNC outdoor scene, but because we did it all with one another by our side, and we did it all together.

“You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”
                                        ~Dr. Seuss~

   Damn, that one is hard to swallow. See ya on the rivah..............hopefully finding the reality of your dreams.         PEACE


To continue the adventure, click here..................The Defining Year