~Lionel Shriver~
This is the first time I ever posted a quote in The Island Chronicles that I disagree with...........and trust me, I completely disagree with the quote above. I posted it because for the longest time I did agree with it. I thought we were all cursed to only crave what we couldn't have, regardless of whether it is what we really wanted. This theory may have applied to The Fourteenth Street Whore, but that was about the only thing in my life it applied to. Funny thing is, she is also the only truly negative thing that I have ever had enter my life, and I never even wanted her............Now I only disagree with the quote above because there are some of us that crave both sides of the fence, and I do mean two very healthy sides to life. Some of us believe we can truly have our cake and eat it too, and make all of it work together in an orderly fashion. I believed in the ability to make it all work, and the double life I started to lead in WNC was encouraging my confidence in that theory. For half the week I was a calm pillar of the community; well put together, sleeping normal hours, reading books instead of watching cable, helping children in the school system (shit, I am still amazed they even let me in the school system), cleaning the kitchen at night as opposed to the next morning, gardening, buying flowers, sitting on a grassy hillside in the afternoon sun, talking about our future and dreams, and I did all of it with rainbows and butterflies floating all around the both of us..........now, if you are a man reading this you are probably saying, "Damn it Justin! Shut the fuck up about the God damn love fest and talk about kick ass rivahs and epic WNC adventures." Meanwhile, a lot of the women reading this are saying, "Ahhhhhh. That sounds beautiful and is exactly how I always pictured happiness. Just like the movies."....well, perception is reality folks!
“I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.”
~Stanley Baldwin~
“I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.”
~Stanley Baldwin~
Personally I wouldn't trust either one.
My reality was I couldn't only see both sides of the fence, but I could live both very well, and not only did I do it well, but they were both acceptable, promising lives. Knowing that I was going to have three days every week to be the pathetically irresponsible, immature, whitewater obsessed slob of a man that I knew I could be when no one was there to keep me in check made me work that much harder to be the perfectly loving, responsible, well groomed, saint of a man I knew I could be when someone was watching over me...........closely.
So here we are again at a crux in this post when men and women are going to read what was just written and interpret it completely different. I will try and explain......................every man out there knows that what I just wrote describes most of us perfectly. (unless you are a gay man. In that case you are very clean and well groomed and every woman out there loves you and wishes their boyfriend or husband were just like you......well, almost) So to explain I will ask a simple question to all the men out there.........What happens every time your wife leaves town for the weekend?................C'mon, you all know the answer.........you do whatever the fuck you want!!!!!!!......and don't even try to deny it. You may sit on the couch with your hand down your pants playing Modern Warfare for 7 straight hours. You may hit up a sunrise bong hit, pass back out until noon, then eat an entire package of bacon for breakfast while having a beer to start the day (and the beer is totally justified because after all, it is the afternoon). You may do this for an entire Saturday, knowing that if she were there you would be doing anything but sitting on the couch for seven hours playing video games with your hand down your pants, taking sunrise bong hits and eating packages of bacon for breakfast with your first afternoon beer. But this is only one example of just how pathetically worthless we, as men, can be when left unattended. Whitewater obsession is another perfect example. I once turned six laps on The James around 10 feet in one Saturday when Marcelle was out of town for the weekend, went home that evening, ate (on the couch with my hand down my pants I might add....well, I take that back. My hand went down my pants AFTER I finished eating...........I'm pretty sure I ate bacon), and then I fell asleep. When I awoke at midnight, I headed back out for my seventh lap..........solo. Who does that?........then again, who lives on an Island as a fully grown adult just so they can kayak everyday. We are men, and like it or not ladies, we are very good at being worthless and justifying every second of it. And ladies, you are very good at trying to call us out for it. Dave Chappelle stated it best........................................(****the first two and a half minutes of this video apply to what is being discussed, but the entire ten minutes is probably some of the most bluntly stated TRUTH I have ever heard spoken about the differences between women and men. Be warned, the content is R-Rated and may be offensive, but then again, this is still The Island Chronicles, so fuck it! ENJOY****)
Told you Dave stated it best............"If it wasn't for a woman a man wouldn't buy a house. He would be happy living in a cardboard box." Well, I was happy living on an island, so that is probably true. Plus, as I have stated before, I make one hell of a good homeless man.
“There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.”
~Ernest Hemingway~
Given everything you have just learned about my perceptions of modern day man and my ability to push the limits, imagine me being given anywhere from three to ten days at a time to "get out all the bro" from my soul, and imagine having WNC as my playground to do it. That is exactly what I did............and I did it for three years! When Marcelle left town, I did what I had to do to keep my life in check, but did what I wanted to do every other moment. This worked out well......so well in fact I would work the other side of the fence with the same reckless passion for Marcelle when she got off trail. I prepared baths with flower petals and candles waiting for her when she returned home from a rough three days on trail in the middle of winter.............I would have the house spotless as she walked through the door..........I would plan dinners and weekend trips that I hoped she enjoyed..............I even tried to write her Legend of the Falls style love letters (which I pathetically failed at I might add) ................and I would always be rested up from my weekend of worthlessness and/or twelve hour sleep from an endless two days of boating, allowing me to be ready to do whatever she was ready to do. We would go apple pickin', attend art exhibits, watch drag shows (I will come back to that one fellas), go on picnics, and take endless walks on country roads. We picked flowers, I helped her with art projects, helped her pack her bags for returning to trail (this was always a complicated process), and we would always go to the town coffee shop to just sit and talk before strolling through the local Farmers Markets. I loved all of this, don't get me wrong...........but now think about how to cram both the kayaking adventures and epic worthlessness that is man into a time frame that fit with the responsible, perfect, flower pickin' gentleman I had been groomed to be. It works fine, as long as the two worlds are separated. Now combine them, with no breaks, no separation, and just for kicks go ahead and throw in two kids......................See where I am going with all this? Stay tuned, because this story contains lessons for us all.
“Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.”
~Albert Einstein~
“There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.”
~Ernest Hemingway~
Given everything you have just learned about my perceptions of modern day man and my ability to push the limits, imagine me being given anywhere from three to ten days at a time to "get out all the bro" from my soul, and imagine having WNC as my playground to do it. That is exactly what I did............and I did it for three years! When Marcelle left town, I did what I had to do to keep my life in check, but did what I wanted to do every other moment. This worked out well......so well in fact I would work the other side of the fence with the same reckless passion for Marcelle when she got off trail. I prepared baths with flower petals and candles waiting for her when she returned home from a rough three days on trail in the middle of winter.............I would have the house spotless as she walked through the door..........I would plan dinners and weekend trips that I hoped she enjoyed..............I even tried to write her Legend of the Falls style love letters (which I pathetically failed at I might add) ................and I would always be rested up from my weekend of worthlessness and/or twelve hour sleep from an endless two days of boating, allowing me to be ready to do whatever she was ready to do. We would go apple pickin', attend art exhibits, watch drag shows (I will come back to that one fellas), go on picnics, and take endless walks on country roads. We picked flowers, I helped her with art projects, helped her pack her bags for returning to trail (this was always a complicated process), and we would always go to the town coffee shop to just sit and talk before strolling through the local Farmers Markets. I loved all of this, don't get me wrong...........but now think about how to cram both the kayaking adventures and epic worthlessness that is man into a time frame that fit with the responsible, perfect, flower pickin' gentleman I had been groomed to be. It works fine, as long as the two worlds are separated. Now combine them, with no breaks, no separation, and just for kicks go ahead and throw in two kids......................See where I am going with all this? Stay tuned, because this story contains lessons for us all.
“Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.”
~Albert Einstein~
See ya on the rivah.......................hopefully your wife gave you permission. PEACE
To find out just how different those two lives are, click here.............The Flower Pickin' Gentleman
