“You can love someone so much...But you can never love people as much as you can miss them.”
~John Green~
After Marcelle and I experienced our James Rivah flood stage rafting run (not sure the James has ever been rafted higher than 15 feet), I developed a new appreciation for our relationship and started picturing a future where I wasn't alone. I had never considered a future that was spent with someone else by my side, and doing so changed my perspective on everything. Marcelle went out and took control of the world, and was determined to get everything she could out of life, regardless of what challenges stood in her way. Her will to succeed was attractive to me, and when combined with her stubbornness, determination, and take no prisoners attitude, she was one tough cookie. I was happy that I was on her side of the fence, because Marcelle was not someone I wanted to stand in the way of. She would have taken me out and then moved right on without thinking twice about it..................which seems to have happened anyway.
Marcelle graduated in the Spring of 2004 and used her graduation money to apply for a post graduate program with Outward Bound. She would be spending the entire summer in the mountains of Western North Carolina, with a majority of the time coming on trail training for a career in Wilderness Leadership. I was going to miss her, but had my own summer planned guiding the James and working as the Director of Waterfront Operations for the Geara Woods Group. Both of us were now pursuing our dreams, and we had the support of each other to strengthen our determination.
Marcelle spent her summer completely drenched..............the summer of 2004 was a very wet summer in WNC, even more so than this past summer. For all the boaters reading this, the North Fork of the French Broad ran for three months straight that summer, which is unheard of. Marcelle and I wrote letters to each other, and every time I heard from her I remember her always saying, "Justin, you would not believe how much it rains here."...............hmmmmmm. Non stop rain, six thousand foot mountains, and some of the most epic whitewater runs on the East Coast. Yea, I knew where my future was taking me.
“We have to allow ourselves to be loved by the people who really love us, the people who really matter. Too much of the time, we are blinded by our own pursuits of people to love us, people that don't even matter, while all that time we waste and the people who do love us have to stand on the sidewalk and watch us beg in the streets! It's time to put an end to this. It's time for us to let ourselves be loved.”
~C. Joybell C.~
This is a powerful quote, with powerful truth. If only I had found this quote long ago when the Fourteenth Street Whore entered my life.
The summer passed by and Marcelle returned home to RVA and Charlottesville, full of adventurous stories and a wealth of outdoor knowledge.................as well as a new found love for open boating. I had spent my summer on the James, meeting new people, watching the community continue to grow, and advancing my whitewater knowledge and skills, both in a raft and a kayak. I had become a strong part of the RVA boating community, but was reluctant to call the James and the people in the community home. I was happy to have had Marcelle by my side, and to not have been sucked into the social train wreck that was beginning to take shape in the boating community, even ten years ago. People cheated, were sneaky, and were manipulative. Most of the girls in the boating community slept around, even if they had boyfriends. Unfortunately a lot of the boaters who led the charge in this social dynamic still attempt to lead things today, and the lack of values, morals, and ethics continue to exist today, only at a much greater rate. (and yes, I am being a hypocrite, because eventually I fell into the trap as well) Some created an environment that fuels this social dynamic, from opening bars to building the take out and so on. The goal of the boating community was quickly becoming an escape from growing up and moving on with life. Now you have 30+ year olds who are still partying with college girls and are still the exact same people they were ten years ago..................and unfortunately that brings with it some serious adult drama. Drug Abuse, unfaithfulness, alcoholism, accusations of rape, accusations of money laundering through non-profit organizations (yea Jeff, I am referring to your bull shit accusations), bull shit high school like clicks of boaters, unsafe river practices, and people like the Fat Bastard seeing a way to take advantage of it all, etc., etc., etc.............this wasn't what adulthood was supposed to be. In my mind, it was Marcelle and her independence and confidence to think for herself that represented adulthood to me, and I was excited that my kayaking career would be spent with her by my side, exploring the rivers and whitewater of the East Coast. We would grow together as boaters, and would explore rivah after rivah, gorge after gorge, and would spend our life pursuing our love for the outdoors. We would take our children down those rivahs, and escape the bull shit to create a life together on the rivah. We would be the couple that passes by young boaters 30 years from now, still paddling and living the dream. We would be the boaters that the youngsters would say, "I hope I have that one day. I hope that I can find love on the rivah one day and experience it for my entire life."
“The biggest adventure you can ever take is to live the life of your dreams.”
~Oprah Winfrey~
(I'm quoting Oprah just for you Marcelle) Throughout the remainder of the year, she and I worked together at the Y while putting together a plan for the next chapter of our lives. We had made the choice to pursue our dreams of the outdoor life, and we would do it together. Neither of us had "real life" commitments holding us back, and the fact that we were following the dream together made it that much better, plus we were both ready to move on from Richmond and the developing scene. Our destination was split between Durango, Colorado and Asheville, NC. We visited Asheville during the year and began to look around. Marcelle, having spent the past summer in and around the area, took the lead. We decided together that Asheville was a great place to live, so we began planning our move the following year.
The remainder of 2004 and 2005 were happy days for me. I spent them falling in love with Marcelle. I loved to spend time with her. She made me feel safe, allowed me to believe in myself, and most importantly she made me feel loved. I miss that the most about Marcelle..........the fact that she made me feel loved. We had great times on the rivah for the entire year, worked as counselors and outdoor instructors for the Y, drove short buses together (long story, but one of my favorite memories of our times in RVA), and spent every moment we could together.
"There are two sorts of romantics: those who love, and those who love the adventure of loving."
~Lesley Blanch~
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During the wintertime we spent our weekends living the paddling life, going to parties and hanging with the RVA paddling crew. One of my favorite nights I ever spent in RVA with Marcelle happened on a cold January night. Ben, Hunter, Matt, and a few other boys all lived together in an apartment on Monument Ave during that time. On a night of one of their many parties, it snowed in RVA, resulting in a massive snowball fight between all the boaters in the streets of Monument Ave. Marcelle lived in the fan, and after the party, she and I walked home together, late at night, as the snow fell around us. I don't know why, but the memories of that walk are so clear in my mind. I was happy to be with her, happy to share the experience with her, and happy that I found someone that I could truly love, and who truly loved me.
When the summer of 2005 arrived, Marcelle and I ran private rafting trips for the YMCA through the RWC with insurance coverage from AW. (were there enough abbreviations in there for ya!) I was proud of this project because it was the first time I had run my own outdoor program, and I created, managed, organized it myself. Every Friday for the entire summer I led groups of YMCA teenagers down the rivah, and the experience for them and me was unique. Most importantly, Marcelle worked as a guide, and I loved sharing with her the success that I had found in outdoor recreation. We grew up together that summer, and as summer neared its end I knew I was ready to embark on the next chapter of my life. At the end of the summer we found a beautiful little cabin in the mountains of Brevard, North Carolina. We spent all of August traveling to Asheville, moving our lives, and creating a new home.........together. I was so proud of Marcelle, our decisions, and our courage to break out and follow our dreams. At the end of August 2005, Marcelle and I left RVA for the mountains of WNC, with a few thousand dollars, no set jobs, our boats, cars, and each other. That was all we needed........each other. Stay tuned, because the happiest days of my life are just ahead.
"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."
~Lao Tzu~
Enjoy the rivah.........hopefully water is on the way. PEACE
Continue the story here...........................The Life
Continue the story here...........................The Life
